The Good Casualties of a Faltering Economy

I picked this up from the sidebar at Ace’s, but I thought that it’s an event that is much too too glorious to simply cover with a link and single line of text.

With the economic downturn we’ve seen, many companies have been going under.  The recent string of banking institution failures has now been joined by the domestic auto industry.  However, not all company failures are bad, some can actually be good.  Take for example, the company created by the spawn of Satan himself, also known as Crocs Inc.

Quarterly sales dropped 32% to $174 million.

The company expects to lose between 50 and 65 cents a share in the fourth quarter on sales of up to $120 million. whose first shoe hit the market five years ago, is writing off excess sandal inventory, slashing its spending budget by 50%, and shuttering its Brazil plant. It shut down a factory in Canada earlier this year.


Yes, yes, I can already hear your whining…”b-b-but, they are sooooo comfortable!”.  Sorry, I don’t care.  There’s no excuse for wearing something so absolutely hideous on your feet. To conciously decide to wear a shoe that looks like it was puked up by a troop of drunk clowns, thrown into a mold, and had a price sticker slapped on it, is morally wrong.  It’s a borderline crime against humanity.  I’d include a picture of the shoes, but that’d be cruel and unusual, and I don’t support that kind of sick twisted imagery on my blog.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against comfortable shoes, or for people being comfortable with what they wear, however, there’s a limit to comfort.  For example, walking around naked can be quite comfortable, but just because it’s comfortable for me doesn’t mean it’s appealing to your eyes.

I could almost be persuaded into coexisting with Crocs if they were primarily a kid’s fashion fad.  That wouldn’t be a big deal.  Little crumb-crunchers often run around wearing hideously ugly and unnecessarily colorful articles of clothing, but they are just kids, and I’m allright with that.  Plus I’d know that within a year or so they’d fade and dissappear like all those other kid fads (Pokemon, Power Rangers, Pogs…kinda weird that the first three things I thought of all start with the same letter).

However, if you’re a full grown man wearing mandarin orange foam shoes in public…you need to be taken to the nearest alley, beaten severely, and left there for the hobos to finish off.  Yes, I’m talking to you Mario Batali.  You might be able to whip up delicious dishes in under an hour in Kitchen Stadium, but when your footwear jeapordizes my interest in a show as awesome as Iron Chef, there needs to be a change.

After a quick google search, I found out there are others who share in my passion.  Hell, there’s a blog for everything already, so why not one specifically for those who hate Crocs?  They even have their own t-shirt, of which I definitely approve.


So in closing, thank you Democrats and irresponsible lenders.  At least I have one thing to be grateful to you for.


One Response to The Good Casualties of a Faltering Economy

  1. elenathehun says:

    *amused* The Manolo is celebrating as well, considering he, too, has been anti-croc as long they’ve existed.

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