Sarah Palin’s “Secret” Style Team

I’m sure you’ve all heard the “news” that the New York Post has reported.  However, I’ve uncovered a bit more from an unnamed resource of my own.

HOCKEY mom Sarah Palin not only wore lipstick to the Republican National Convention, the vice-presidential candidate wore a shantung silk Valentino jacket worth $2,500.

Insiders tell Page Six Palin has a secretive circle of stylists who dress her for events. For her big speech in St. Paul, where she accepted the GOP’s vice-presidential nod, this fashion-conscious team encouraged the Alaska governor to splurge on a $2,500 jacket from Saks Fifth Avenue designed by Valentino Garavani.

Reporters have discovered this secret and eeeeeevil “satanic cult style team” is led by none other than Karl Rove’s hidden homosexual son simply known as “Pietro”. The Rove’s had hidden him in their basement, many, many years ago, to prevent Pietro from ruining Rove’s master plan from being put into effect. He’s now been offered his freedom if he helps the current Republican VP candidate just like his father did for George W. Bush.

Young Pietro learned from his father at an early age how to manipulate the minds of the backwoods hicks and inbreds of the Republican party and now he’s using those same family techniques to help Sarah Palin. Just as secret and eeeeevil as his father. The New York Post already knows how tight-lipped the members of this team are, obviously a necessary step to conceal their eeeevil plot.

We spoke to someone on Palin’s styling team, who told us, “I did a little bit of personal styling, but I can’t discuss anything I’ve done with Sarah Palin. I’m not sure which designs she wore . . . anything related to working with her is confidential.”

You think all this time she’s fired up the base because of her politics? Pietro has stocked Palin’s wardrobe full of eye-catching colors that will distract voters from the real issues and trick them into thinking Palin is the best thing since Pashminas. And if that doesn’t fail, he’s got several earrings that will act as hyponotic devices to literally control the minds of anyone watching. Years of Rove family research have concluded that shiny objects easily distract the simple-minded.

If it isn’t obvious that all this is made up, let me just say so now.  However, don’t be suprised if you see it pop up in a nutroot blog somewhere.

One Response to Sarah Palin’s “Secret” Style Team

  1. Dyke says:

    Sexy librarian be tricking my eyes? I’ll only vote for her if she is sexy without makeup too.

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